Sensuality vs. Sexuality: Do You Know the Difference?
Oh yes! There is a difference between sensuality and sexuality. Read more to find out!
Moving Out and Moving On
So you've been thinking about moving on to that next step in life, moving out. Before you sign the lease and pack your bags, here are some useful tips to help you in the process!
What's in a Name? (When Girls Call Each Other Wifey)
Recently, girls are calling their close friends "wifey." Is it a harmless term of endearment or something more?
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Why I Don't Make New Year's Resolutions
Now that the New Year is here, many people are asking the age old question "What's your New Year's Resolution?" Just yesterday, I was asked this question and I responded, "I didn't make any New Year's Resolutions." Following my response, I was told that I'm too young to not have any resolutions and that the New Year should prompt me to self-reflect. While I don't disagree with this theory, I have my own philosophy on making New Year's Resolutions.
Every day there is something new to discover about life. As each day passes, you'll come to experience and witness things that may cause you to self-reflect and make a decision to resolve whatever is going on in your life. This may mean re-evaluating your life, friends, relationships, etc. Whenever that time comes up, I believe in simply making steps to resolve it and continue going on life's journey to growing as a person. A fresh start can be made whenever you decide to make it and fresh starts are made every day.
Now I know that many people use New Year's, spring time, and other dates and occasions to make changes in their lives and that's fine. As long as you make the change, then it's all good. However, if I know there's something in my life I have to change, I rather change it then and there instead of marking down a calendar to do it. Call me a free spirit of sorts, but that's the way I choose to approach life. So to all those calendar markers out there, please respect my approach as I respect yours and let's just enjoy this ride called life.
Friday, December 31, 2010
New Year's Eve Drink Recipes
Today is New Year's Eve and if you're like many people who will spending it inside, here are some drink recipes to get the good times going! For more recipes, go to www.drinksmixer.com or www.allrecipes.com. Please remember to drink responsibly and if you're under 21, sorry this post is not for you. Enjoy and have a happy New Year!

Mojito Recipe
Ingredients:
10 fresh mint leaves
1/2 lime cut into 4 wedges
2 tablespoons of white sugar
1 cup of ice cubes
1 1/2 fl oz. white rum (try Captain Morgan's Original spiced rum)
1/2 cup club soda
Directions:
Place mint leaves and 1 lime wedge into a sturdy glass. Use a muddler to crush the mint and lime to release the mint oils and lime juice. Add 2 more lime wedges and the sugar, and muddle again to release the lime juice. Do not strain the mixture. Fill the glass almost to the top with ice. Pour the rum over the ice, and fill the glass with carbonated water. Stir, taste, and add more sugar if desired. Garnish with the remaining lime wedge.
(via allrecipes.com)
Godiva Chocolate Martini Recipe
Ingredients:
1 oz. Godiva Original Liqueur
1/4 oz. Ciroc Vodka
Directions:
Add both ingredients in martini glass and stir.
(via allrecipes.com)
A Pimp Named Slickback Recipe (*this drink is named after The Boondocks character played by Katt Williams)
Ingredients:
1 oz. Triple Sec
1/2 oz. white rum
1 oz. lime juice
1 splash amaretto almond liqueur
Directions:
Combine all ingredients in a goblet with a sugared rim. Hold up to the light and swirl contemplatively.
(via drinksmixer.com)
Car Bomb Recipe
Ingredients:
1 oz Bailey's Irish Cream
1 glass Guinness stout
1 oz whiskey
Directions:
Combine Irish Cream and whiskey in a shot glass. Drop shot into a glass of Guinness and drink quickly.
(via drinksmixer.com)
Kamakaze Recipe
Ingredients:
1 oz. Triple Sec
1 oz. Vodka
1 oz. Lime Juice
1 Lime wedge
Directions:
Shake ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with a lime wedge and stir stick (optional).

Mojito Recipe
Ingredients:
10 fresh mint leaves
1/2 lime cut into 4 wedges
2 tablespoons of white sugar
1 cup of ice cubes
1 1/2 fl oz. white rum (try Captain Morgan's Original spiced rum)
1/2 cup club soda
Directions:
Place mint leaves and 1 lime wedge into a sturdy glass. Use a muddler to crush the mint and lime to release the mint oils and lime juice. Add 2 more lime wedges and the sugar, and muddle again to release the lime juice. Do not strain the mixture. Fill the glass almost to the top with ice. Pour the rum over the ice, and fill the glass with carbonated water. Stir, taste, and add more sugar if desired. Garnish with the remaining lime wedge.
(via allrecipes.com)
Godiva Chocolate Martini Recipe
Ingredients:
1 oz. Godiva Original Liqueur
1/4 oz. Ciroc Vodka
Directions:
Add both ingredients in martini glass and stir.
(via allrecipes.com)
A Pimp Named Slickback Recipe (*this drink is named after The Boondocks character played by Katt Williams)
Ingredients:
1 oz. Triple Sec
1/2 oz. white rum
1 oz. lime juice
1 splash amaretto almond liqueur
Directions:
Combine all ingredients in a goblet with a sugared rim. Hold up to the light and swirl contemplatively.
(via drinksmixer.com)
Car Bomb Recipe
Ingredients:
1 oz Bailey's Irish Cream
1 glass Guinness stout
1 oz whiskey
Directions:
Combine Irish Cream and whiskey in a shot glass. Drop shot into a glass of Guinness and drink quickly.
(via drinksmixer.com)
Kamakaze Recipe
Ingredients:
1 oz. Triple Sec
1 oz. Vodka 1 oz. Lime Juice
1 Lime wedge
Directions:
Shake ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with a lime wedge and stir stick (optional).
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Hi, My Name Is ___________ and I'm His ______________
Last week, I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine when she asked me about the importance of titles in relationships. I thought about it for a minute and responded that some people place an importance on it while others don't. In my opinion, there's no right or wrong answer to this issue. As the conversation went on, we discussed a common scenario of when a girl isn't too sure of who she is to a guy, but yet and still she calls him pet names worthy of a boyfriend such as boo, baby, etc.
Of course when you're in the 'talking' stage, there's a lot of things that are up in the air including the whole titles issue so there's no need to rush anything. However, if you've been hanging out with dude for a while and you're not sure about whether you're seen as his girlfriend, friend with benefits, or whatever title you think is best suited, then you might want to bring it up if it's bothering you. If you're like some people I know who don't mind, then carry on.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't in that situation in the past, but over the years I've been able to figure out which relationships are are going to be for a long time and which ones are just for a good time. If I didn't like what was being offered, then I left; it's simple as that. Bottom line: if you're cool with having no titles, let things be. But if you're looking to be someone's girlfriend, make sure both of you are on the same page otherwise you'll be walking around with an empty name tag.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Resolve to Be Fiscally Fit
The new year is almost upon us and of course it's the time to reflect on the year and make some plans for the future. Maybe you want to take a vacation next year. Or maybe in your quest for new experiences in the new year you' plan to take up a new activity. Whatever your plans are for the next 12 months, there's always some tips we can learn to cut down on the bills and keep the money in our wallets for the new year.
1. Learn to Keep Score
There is a Nigerian proverb that states, "Not to know is bad. Not to wish to know is worse." In this case, not knowing or not wishing to know your FICO credit score should be a habit you're looking to kick in 2011. In order to be fiscally fit, you must be well informed by obtaining your credit reports from the 3 big credit bureaus: Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion. Every year, you're entitled to one free report per credit bureau by getting them at www.annualcreditreport.com. After you see all your reports, make sure you check for any mistakes; if you overlook a mistake, it can cost you a good credit score that will remain in bad shape for a long time. If your reports are mistake-free, then you can get your FICO score by logging on to www.myfico.com. Here are some things you should know before getting your FICO score: 1) scores will be varied since they are coming from 3 different credit bureaus, 2) scores range from 500 - 850, with 500 being the worst and 850 being the best, and 3) to get one FICO score it costs $15.95.
(via Suze Orman, The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, & Broke)
2. Don't Be Late
Speaking of credit card scores, paying your credit card bill late this is one of the top ways to screw up your credit score. You can improve your credit score by paying your credit bill on time. Although you can pay the minimum balance, I would suggest you pay more than that. If you can pay half or even all of the balance, that would be better because if you only pay the minimum balance, it takes a long time to pay off the total balance and you'll end up paying more than what was charged in the first place. As far as when to pay, if you're going to mail your payment, allow at least 5 days before the due date. If you're paying online, allow at least 2 days before the due date. If you have a problem remembering due dates, don't forget to mark it on your calendar, iPhone, Blackberry, or any other device you have.
3. Pay Yourself
If you're tired of living from paycheck to paycheck and stretching out your last couple of dollars until the next payday, start paying yourself first. And no, that doesn't mean that you pay yourself by buying those cute pumps in the window display before you pay your rent and utilities. What it means is that before you do anything with your paycheck, put a percentage (10% is recommended) of it towards your savings account. It may seem impossible especially when you have other expenses, but trust me, it works; you just need some discipline. One way you can discipline yourself is using the direct deposit at your company to put a fixed amount into your savings account. That way, you never see the money; out of sight, out of mind. Before you know it, you'll have a healthy savings account. For those of you who may not have a savings account, I highly recommend ING Direct Savings. They're easy to use and you can set up sub accounts for different types of savings like a vacation fund, emergency fund, etc. For more info visit www.ingdirect.com.
4. Live Within Your Means
I can't tell you how many times I've heard of young women living fabulously yet being fiscally destitute. If you spend all of your money on clothes, shoes, hair, etc. but don't pay your rent on time, then you're doing yourself a major disservice. A way to get yourself back on the right track is to live within your means. There should be a set percentage on how much you spend on expenses. According to Carmen Wong Ulrich of CNBC's On the Money, 30% of your income should be put towards housing, 18% should be put towards transportation, and 14% should be put towards food. As for your other expenses, set those percentages accordingly. If your clothes and other disposable income makes up for much of your living expenses, it's time to scale down. Don't look at this as a setback; your wallet will thank you in the end. In the meantime, be a frugalista and shop around for deals.
5. Terminate Your Debt
If you're already drowning in a sea of debt, don't worry. You can trim down that debt. First off, figure out how much debt you actually have by pulling together all your bills that have a balance. Depending on how many outstanding balances you have, you might want to keep track of them by creating an Excel spreadsheet with all the info you need to have on hand. After totaling up your debt, figure out how long it would be for you to pay it back. I would suggest you go to http://cgi.money.cnn.com/tools/debtplanner/debtplanner.jsp and use it to help you calculate when you'll be out debt. From there, you can put a strategy in place to get rid of the debt.You can either attack the high balances or high interest fees first or start with the lowest balances and fees.
1. Learn to Keep Score
There is a Nigerian proverb that states, "Not to know is bad. Not to wish to know is worse." In this case, not knowing or not wishing to know your FICO credit score should be a habit you're looking to kick in 2011. In order to be fiscally fit, you must be well informed by obtaining your credit reports from the 3 big credit bureaus: Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion. Every year, you're entitled to one free report per credit bureau by getting them at www.annualcreditreport.com. After you see all your reports, make sure you check for any mistakes; if you overlook a mistake, it can cost you a good credit score that will remain in bad shape for a long time. If your reports are mistake-free, then you can get your FICO score by logging on to www.myfico.com. Here are some things you should know before getting your FICO score: 1) scores will be varied since they are coming from 3 different credit bureaus, 2) scores range from 500 - 850, with 500 being the worst and 850 being the best, and 3) to get one FICO score it costs $15.95.
(via Suze Orman, The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, & Broke)
2. Don't Be Late
Speaking of credit card scores, paying your credit card bill late this is one of the top ways to screw up your credit score. You can improve your credit score by paying your credit bill on time. Although you can pay the minimum balance, I would suggest you pay more than that. If you can pay half or even all of the balance, that would be better because if you only pay the minimum balance, it takes a long time to pay off the total balance and you'll end up paying more than what was charged in the first place. As far as when to pay, if you're going to mail your payment, allow at least 5 days before the due date. If you're paying online, allow at least 2 days before the due date. If you have a problem remembering due dates, don't forget to mark it on your calendar, iPhone, Blackberry, or any other device you have.
3. Pay Yourself
If you're tired of living from paycheck to paycheck and stretching out your last couple of dollars until the next payday, start paying yourself first. And no, that doesn't mean that you pay yourself by buying those cute pumps in the window display before you pay your rent and utilities. What it means is that before you do anything with your paycheck, put a percentage (10% is recommended) of it towards your savings account. It may seem impossible especially when you have other expenses, but trust me, it works; you just need some discipline. One way you can discipline yourself is using the direct deposit at your company to put a fixed amount into your savings account. That way, you never see the money; out of sight, out of mind. Before you know it, you'll have a healthy savings account. For those of you who may not have a savings account, I highly recommend ING Direct Savings. They're easy to use and you can set up sub accounts for different types of savings like a vacation fund, emergency fund, etc. For more info visit www.ingdirect.com.
4. Live Within Your Means
I can't tell you how many times I've heard of young women living fabulously yet being fiscally destitute. If you spend all of your money on clothes, shoes, hair, etc. but don't pay your rent on time, then you're doing yourself a major disservice. A way to get yourself back on the right track is to live within your means. There should be a set percentage on how much you spend on expenses. According to Carmen Wong Ulrich of CNBC's On the Money, 30% of your income should be put towards housing, 18% should be put towards transportation, and 14% should be put towards food. As for your other expenses, set those percentages accordingly. If your clothes and other disposable income makes up for much of your living expenses, it's time to scale down. Don't look at this as a setback; your wallet will thank you in the end. In the meantime, be a frugalista and shop around for deals.
5. Terminate Your Debt
If you're already drowning in a sea of debt, don't worry. You can trim down that debt. First off, figure out how much debt you actually have by pulling together all your bills that have a balance. Depending on how many outstanding balances you have, you might want to keep track of them by creating an Excel spreadsheet with all the info you need to have on hand. After totaling up your debt, figure out how long it would be for you to pay it back. I would suggest you go to http://cgi.money.cnn.com/tools/debtplanner/debtplanner.jsp and use it to help you calculate when you'll be out debt. From there, you can put a strategy in place to get rid of the debt.You can either attack the high balances or high interest fees first or start with the lowest balances and fees.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Chivalry: Is It DOA or on Life Support?
In college, one of my male friends would always point out that I never allowed him to open the door for me when we would leave or go to class. When I first started dating my boyfriend, I thought it was foreign that he would carry my luggage when I came to visit for the weekend. I would always tell them "don't worry, I got it" as if it was as simple as picking up the check for dinner. Then one day that same friend asked me why did I insist on not letting him be a gentleman and then I realized something: chivalry isn't laying in a casket six feet under with a death certificate dating back to many decades ago. It was that question that sparked a whole bunch of other questions in my mind like when did we as women stop thinking that men should be gentlemen and do courteous things for us? When did our expectations and standards stoop to a new low? Where are all the chivalrous men at? How and when did the mothers and/or fathers teach (or not teach) their boys the importance of being a chivalrous man?
The only we can ever bring chivalry back to life fully is if we make it a part of our norm. As it stands right now, chivalry is foreign to a lot of people my age. All that means is that it's not something that's widely taught or something that is widely expected. As a female, we should expect chivalry from men. Now keep in mind that even if we do change our mind frame that not everyone will be receptive to this, but don't worry: they're just not up to the challenge. But make make chivalry part of your standards and slowly but surely we can bring it back to life.
Yo! Let Me Talk to You!
Psst. Ay Ma! Ay ma with the jacket on! Let me talk to you! Yo sexy, yo gorgeous! You know you hear me talking to you!
Those are just a few of the many ridiculous things that are shouted out at women on a daily basis. Matter of fact, seeing these cat calls in writing make them look even more ridiculous. I never could understand why some (not all) men feel the need to get a woman's attention like that. Despite all of this, according to male friend of mine, even the most polite way to start a conversation with a females gets the same brush off as the offensive. I think it's safe to say we've successfully confused men...once again.
Ladies, why is that when a man says, "excuse me, can I speak to you for a minute..." or something equally as polite we get all offended as if the guy said, "ay b***h let me holla at you real quick!"? As a friend of mine once told me, "I'm polite to y'all and I still get the n***a please look." With that being said, I found some videos and ladies think about which way you would like to be approached. But I will say you probably don't want to be approached like this:
....or like this (shouts to Kim on this one! lol)
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