Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Is a Good Man or Woman Hard to Find?

Tuesday was the first day of my last semester in undergrad. As usual, me and my girls went to lunch to catch up with one another. On the way to lunch, we came across an advertisement for a sorority sponsored activities week. One of the activities was a discussion titled "Is a Good Man/Woman Hard to Find?". We looked at it and decided that we were going to go. Fast forward to Wednesday evening and we're sitting by other college girls and across from college guys. To make a long story short, there was an open forum on topics like what makes a good man or woman, cheating, intercourse, dating, marriage, communication, divorce, etc. Both sexes raised some good and some not-so-good points and questions so here are some of the highlights.

  • We as a society use the terms men and women very loosely so therefore a man may be looking to be with a girl who doesn't necessarily know what it means to really be a woman and vice-versa.
  • Men cheat on good girls because a.) the sex is not good and they look to another chick to fulfill those needs b.) they're bored and have a lot of time on their hands or c.) they've invested so much in the relationship and cutting all ties seems a lot harder.
  • When it comes to communication, women AND men go to their friends instead of their significant other because they feel as if friends have a better insight into the person and the situation.
  • Friends' opinions can mess up relationships; they don't know that much.
  • It is not really appropriate to ask the person you're dating how many partners they slept with; the truth can be ugly and the past shouldn't matter.
  • A lot of people have unrealistic expectations in marriage and the moment they realize that marriage is hard work or not what they expected they file for it at the drop of a hat.
  • The gender and racial stereotypes (i.e. Black women have attitudes, Latino women are professional caretakers, men all are macho) have some sort of truth, but because media shines a big light on these stereotypes, people think that they have to live up to them in some sort of way.
  • The whole "nice guys finish last" holds true because women want guys (i.e. bad boys) that are more upfront...or so they think in the end.
Overall, it was a pretty interesting forum and it gave girls a chance to pick the brains of the guys and vice versa, but of course, the sound advice is only good if you decide to use it in your relationship. And depending on how you view things and how you approach the situation, a good man or woman is NOT hard to find!

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