Why So Serious?

When I was two years into my current relationship, my free spirited aunt tried to play match maker and wanted me to get to know her friend's nephew. When I politely reminded her that I was in a relationship, she told me that at my age I shouldn't tie myself down because my relationship probably wasn't serious and I was too young for anything to be serious. After a few minutes of forced pleasantries, I hung up the phone and was obviously annoyed yet perplexed at the same time. After venting my frustrations to my father,  he advised me to let my aunt's advice roll off my back and continue building the relationship that me and my boyfriend created. Unfortunately, that was one of the few encouragements I received from those around me. Fast forward a couple of years and we're still together; in fact, we just celebrated an anniversary. However, I still get snide comments thinly veiled as advice that I shouldn't take my long-term relationship seriously as the birth date on my driver's license supposedly indicates I'm not equipped to handle a serious relationship.

I know many in my shoes and while it's easy to give a side eye or a few choice words depending on who it is, I've decided to give an intelligent response. I understand that grown folks have been around the block enough times to be a pretty good judge of character or a decent interpreter of a multitude of situations, but age or past experiences don’t grant older people the authority to dismiss or discredit the experiences of their younger counterparts. I know plenty of grown folks that have met and even married their spouses before they were able to vote or drink. Yes, times have changed and while there are not many teenagers getting married, it doesn't mean that the love shared between two consenting young adults makes it invalid.

A question that comes to my mind while exploring this issue is if people are outwardly discouraging these serious relationships, does that mean they encourage a series of short, no-strings-attached relationships as an alternative in order to supposedly get the full experience of one's youth instead? Would you rather me carry on meaningless relationships while running the risk of pregnancies, diseases, or a life taking care of children on my own because the guy I was supposed to just casually date doesn’t want to take of the children we made just for the sake preserving my youth? I would like to know what a good alternative is if relationships are going to be downplayed. I was watching the finale of Love & Hip Hop last week and it amazed me how Mama Jones, Jim Jones’ mother, would prefer Chrissy have children with Jim rather than marry him. I’m sorry, but did I happen to miss something?

As we all know there are downsides to relationships long-term and short-term. For one, it could end…badly. Also, there can be many negative things within the relationship that cause it and the people in it to suffer mentally, emotionally, or even physically. With things like that, I do advise people to speak up especially if they care about the person. However, if the relationship is a healthy, mature one, just be happy for the couple and take a page out of their book if your love life isn’t up to par. The way I see it, some people are blessed to find their love at young ages and some may have to go through many years to find theirs, but one thing is for sure: serious relationships are a long road to travel; where or when you started doesn’t matter nearly as much as where you finish. 

Sensuality vs. Sexuality: Do You Know the Difference?

When I first decided to do this blog, I wanted it to encompass many aspects that young women like myself go through. When I thought about the title, I wanted it to be catchy yet have purpose and meaning. Then the word "sensuality" came to me. To be honest, my first thought was that sensuality and sexuality were somehow synonymous. As I researched further, I found out that I was mistaken. 

Sexuality, which is a common term, revolves around expression of sexual receptivity or interest especially when excessive according to Webster's Dictionary. Sexuality is everywhere. On our television sets, in our music, on our computer screens, it's everywhere. It shows in how we act (or don't act), in what we wear (or don't), and plenty of other ways that help shape us; to put it plainly, sexuality is blatant. Sensuality, however, is a bit more subtle than that. 

Sensuality of course involves the five senses (touching, hearing, seeing, tasting, smelling) but the difference is you're immersing yourself in your surroundings. Taking in what you're touching, hearing, seeing, tasting, or smelling. It could be soft touch from a loved one, the sight of of something beautiful, the sound of someone's laugh, etc. Like someone said, it's the simple things in life that mean the most. Those nuances can speak volumes and exude much more depth than sexuality ever can. 

Just listen to this song (one of my favorites) and you'll see exactly what I mean. Hope you now know the difference and take a sensual approach to life. Experience it, enjoy it. 

Moving Out and Moving On

So lately you’ve been thinking about moving out on your own. Maybe you’re a post-grad and have been living at home with your parents/relatives; maybe you’re looking to make a big career move that requires relocation. No matter what your circumstances may be, learning how to set yourself up financially is the best move you can make before you actually move. Here are some tips to help you along the way!

1.     Make a list and check it twice

We all have amenities that we want when we live on our own. Make a list to determine the most important features to your new place as it’s very likely all of your wants won’t be satisfied. Here are some of the most common amenities that people consider when moving:

a.     Access to subways, buses, and commuter rails – this is usually first on the list for people looking to live in big cities (i.e. New York City)

b.    Neighborhood safety – especially in these days and times, it’s important for ladies to stay safe. If you like to go out at night, you don’t want to have to worry about being constantly met with danger. When looking for a place, scout the neighborhood to see what it’s like before you sign that lease.

c.     Pets allowed in the unit – some landlords don’t want animals in their building, so make sure that you’re allowed to have a pet. Landlords will usually state this in the lease; however, some landlords will allow pets (sometimes there is a weight limit).

d.    Laundry room – unless you like lugging a bag full of dirty clothes every week to the laundromat and dealing with long waits and annoying people hogging the big load washing machine, building laundry facilities may be a high priority. Just note that having a laundry room in your building doesn’t mean you do your laundry for free so keep quarters handy!

e.     Parking – depending on where you’re looking to live, parking spaces can be slim to none, especially in NYC. If you have a car, see if your building provides on-site parking; just keep in mind that it’ll cost you extra. If the building doesn’t have parking, invest in a good car alarm system and The Club (for those that don’t know or remember what The Club is, it’s a steering wheel lock...and yes, I have one.)

2.     How much are you willing to spend?

That loft you’ve been eying complete with modern kitchen appliances, deep soaking tub, and walk-in closet may be your perfect apartment, but may be out of your financial league. To avoid living above your means, it would be best to create a budget when searching for a new place. As I mentioned in “Resolve to be Fiscally Fit in 2011,” no more than 30% of your income should go towards rent. The easiest way to figure out whether you need to scale back your budget or up your income is to solve this equation:

(Annual salary x 30%) ÷ 12 = Maximum monthly rent you should be paying

In addition to figuring out appropriate rent, also keep in mind that the process of moving in itself is costly. You’ll need about 2-3 months of rent (1 month for the security deposit, first month’s rent, and last month’s rent) when you’re ready to move in addition to moving costs, furniture, etc.

3.     Choose your living arrangement…wisely

Be honest with yourself: would you prefer living by yourself or do you think that you can handle living with a roommate? If you’re looking to lower your rent, a solution may be to have a roommate, but you must choose wisely. Living with another person means living with another person’s habits. If you are going to have a roommate, discuss important things like housing expenses, cleaning responsibilities, what to do when company comes over, and other house rules. Also, do your homework on your roommate especially if you don’t know them.

4.     Diversify your searching methods

When apartment hunting, there are plenty of ways you can find apartments. There are plenty of websites with apartment listings such as Craigslist, HotPads, Trulia Real Estate Search, etc. You can also search the old fashioned way by combing through newspaper ads. While you may not be able to see pictures of the potential place, you’ll get basic information such as rent, contact info, whether the unit is furnished, etc. If those methods take up too much of your time, you can hire someone who does have the time. Of course, this service is not free. Usually a broker will charge you a percentage of the rent. You can find brokers in classifieds, Yellow Pages, etc.

5.     Visit potential places

You won’t just be living in a new apartment, you’ll be living in a new neighborhood and it’s important to get to know the area. Spend a day and night driving around. Look for shops and restaurants, check out the school district (especially if you have kids or are planning to have some soon), and get to know the many ways to get around the neighborhood.

6.     Get it in writing!

No matter what anybody says, always make sure you get a lease in writing and with any contract, you should read the fine print. Don’t assume anything because we all know what that does. If there are any provisions in the lease, see if you and the landlord can come to some sort of compromise. It would be helpful for you to come up with any questions beforehand. Below is a list of common concerns.

·         What utilities are included in the rent?

·         How is security handled throughout the building?

·         How is the trash handled? (If you dispose of trash at the wrong location or time, you may be fined.)

·         How much notice do I need to give when leaving?

·         Are there any routine maintenance performed throughout the building (i.e. extermination)?

·         Are pets allowed?

7.     Don’t just pay attention to State Farm for their commercials, make use of them.

As much as those State Farm commercials are fun to watch, they (along with other insurance companies) provide renter’s insurance. Should you ever have a burglary, fire, or any unfortunate event where your possessions are damaged or stolen, you need to be protected. To get started, take an inventory of your belongings (and yes, that includes clothes) and estimate the replacement cost, not the actual cash value as clothes, jewelry, electronics, and other possessions usually depreciate in value over time.

What's in a Name? (When Girls Call Each Other Wifey)

Wifey. Fiance. Lover. You think that these titles would be designated to women in romantic relationships but over the years, I've come to notice that they are used in female friendships. The dynamics of female friendships have always been complex, but this recent occurrence has me perplexed. Has the closeness between two girls become a little too close or has female friendships taken a step in the right direction?


When you think of the various terms of endearment, they hold some sort of weight. A wifey, fiance, or lover is usually seen as a person that will be there for you no matter what; the closeness between the two of you is unmatched. The time that the both of you spend developing and growing together in that relationship takes time equivalent to a marriage. In female friendships, that level of closeness should be celebrated. Many times we see women tearing each other down, especially women of color. We get inundated with images on the television screen with women calling each other names, scheming, plotting, backbiting, and fighting. When  you think about it, for a second, the appointed title of wifey and the like seem like a nice change of pace or a playful way of showing love. 


On the flip side, how is that level of closeness perceived by others? I found out some people's thoughts on the topic and the common response was that this level of closeness is only a substitute for the lack of a romantic partner, male or female (we don't discriminate over here!). When one (or both) girls have no significant other, it's easier to turn to that close female friend and label her your wifey. Hey, if you can't be wifey to a significant other, the next best thing would be a close friend. Perhaps it's the title, perhaps it's the level of the closeness, but whatever it is, some find that it crosses the familiar lines of friendship and reaches a whole new level that some say is strange, annoying, and even immature. 


What we can all take away from the issue is this: anytime we can celebrate women being close with each other, it's a good thing. Female friendships, close ones without the drama a la reality show friendships, can sometimes be tough to find or maintain so when you have it, treasure it. However, a friendship is just that, a friendship. It's not a marriage or an intense romantic relationship as those have different dynamics. If it is treated as such, boundaries get crossed. Enjoy the friendship for what it is, nothing more, nothing less. 

Keep It Simple Stupid!

When you're job hunting, your main objective before landing a gig is getting an interview. The golden ticket to landing an interview is constructing a great resume. However, it's not that easy. In my line of work, I have the opportunity to screen resumes and of course, some pique interest and some raise eyebrows. There are plenty of resumes that fall under the Raise Eyebrows category: resumes with typos, resumes with little to no information, and resumes that give too much information. For the resumes with TMI, it's really an eyesore to people who screen resumes. The last thing you want a potential employer to do while they're reading your resumes is develop M.E.G.O. (My Eyes Glaze Over). You only have a couple of seconds to make a great first impression on paper, make it count for something. 


To create a resume that accentuates your high points while getting to the point, here is some info that you might not want to include: 


1. (Overly) Personal Information 
In no way, shape, or form should you ever put too much personal info on your resume. Your social security number, birthday, etc. should never be put on your resume. That would be like volunteering to be the victim of identity theft. Also, for older candidates, volunteering things like your birthday could work against you despite the laws against age discrimination. 


2. Hobbies 
Unless you're filling out an application on Match.com or any other dating site, putting your personal hobbies on a resume is absolutely useless. Employers just want to find out about your qualifications, not that you like dancing, swimming, and cooking international dishes on the weekends. Save that kind of info for when you get the gig and you're making water cooler chat with your co-workers. 


3. Irrelevant Achievements 
If you've amassed a number of achievements over the years, that's definitely something to put down. However, listing your achievement of being Prom Queen is not applicable under any circumstances. Your best bet is to list achievements in your field of interest. If you're in the writing field and have many pieces that you would like to show--blogs, reviews, and other writing samples--please do not send a massive amount of links on your resume. Employers will not be impressed; instead they'll be annoyed that they have a bunch of links to look at. Take your best samples, print them out, and put them in a nice portfolio. When you snag an interview, then you can show off your work in an impressive yet professional way.


4. Laundry List of Responsibilities 
In your work experiences, you usually have a lot of responsibilities. Some responsibilities are mundane and run-of-the-mill; I would suggest keeping duties like copying/faxing, mailing, etc. down to a minimum and focus more on "big picture" duties. Your responsibilities should somehow show that you've either increased your company's revenue, decreased the company's costs, or streamlined a process. You have to show that you've made something easier for your bosses. 


5. Every Single Job 
If you were on a date, would you start the conversation with every detail of your past relationship and expect to go on a second date? Didn't think so. Your job history shouldn't date back to your after school job in high school. An easy way to determine the proper jobs to put on your resume is to make a subtitle called 'Relevant Experience' and provide details on jobs that are relevant to the position. For other jobs that are irrelevant to the position your applying for, create a subtitle called 'Other Experience' and simply provide basic information such as company name, company location (city, state), your title, and dates of employment. 


Giving too much information on your resume is like giving it up too fast on a date. You'll be viewed as a desperate person and you won't get a second chance to make a good impression. Times are rough and I know that everyone is trying to put their best foot forward, but don't throw everything but the kitchen sink into your resume. Keep it simple and to the point. It'll make it easier for employers and easier for you to get that interview! 

Valentine's Day Special: 'Like' Before 'Love' Other Valentine's Day Lessons

My good friend Veralyn was thinking about "Love" and wanted to know how do you recognize the real thing and, once you do, how do you make it last so she made a v-log about it! Shameless plug: I gave some input to her questions as you'll see in the first few minutes. Enjoy! Have a Happy Valentine's Day! 


'Like' Before 'Before' Other Valentine's Day Lessons

The Hoopla Around Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day. It's been known as a day where you can express your love (or like) for someone. You can express it in a card, a box of chocolates, or flowers.Unfortunately, it turns out to be the one day out of the year where women (and some men) lose their patience, mind, and dignity all in the name of receiving a nice dinner, a monstrosity of flower arrangements, and colossal sized teddy bears to prove that there actually is someone who cares about them. 

Valentine's Day is fun, but so many people put too much importance on it making it stressful ultimately. Many girls, including myself, have been swept up in the hoopla that is Valentine's Day monitoring their relationship statuses as if they were on life support. For single girls that actually care about V-Day, it is a painful reminder that they don't have a boyfriend to cuddle up to. For girls that have a boyfriend and place major importance on the pseudo-holiday, they're usually trying to pull off an extravaganza to report back to friends and co-workers. 


I can look back and honestly laugh at how silly I was being about the whole thing, but one thing I learned is that Valentine's Day, or any other day for that matter, shouldn't make you reflect on what you don't have. If you're single, don't worry about not having a boyfriend; you still have friends and family, right? If you love them, you can surely show them during this time. You can also show yourself love, too. After all, you can't love someone else until you love yourself first. 
For the girls that are cuffing this V-Day, enjoy it, but don't pump the day up on steroids. Enjoy a nice meal inside or out at a restaurant, catch a movie, write a card, make a card, but whatever you do, remember to be safe this Valentine's Day. 

New York Restaurant Week 2011

Looking to for a great night out in NYC without spending too much money? Take advantage of New York's Restaurant Week. For those of you not familiar with Restaurant Week, it's where participating restaurants all over the city offer pre-fixed menus for lunch and dinner. Lunch at any of these participating restaurants are $24.07 while dinner is $35.00. Whether you want to taste different cuisines or go to a restaurant you've dying to try, Restaurant Week is sure have something worth sinking your teeth into! Click on the link for more info and a list of participating restaurants. Restaurant Week has been extended to February 27. 


New York Restaurant Week 2011

Jobs: Come Out, Come Out Wherever You Are!

During one of my recent conversations with a friend, she mentioned how she was having a hard time finding jobs. Although the job market is still in not as strong as it should be, there are jobs out there. It's just a matter of being crafty with with your search. Below are some helpful websites that I've come across in my job search. 


Monster.com 
This widely popular job search engine is used by  many big name companies use Monster as a recruitment tool and the career services (i.e. resume critique/writing, job hunting advice) Monster offers makes them hit with job hunters everywhere. 


MediaBistro.com/TalentZoo.com 
For anyone looking for careers along the lines of media, advertising/marketing/PR, and creative, MediaBistro and TalentZoo are great places to find jobs of various types (project basis, freelance, part-time, full-time). MediaBistro and TalentZoo also give news, events info, and helpful articles on how to make it in the media world. 

Glassdoor.com 

In addition to posting jobs from many companies, Glassdoor provides company information, CEO approval ratings, anonymous reviews from past and current employees, and even reviews on interviews. I highly recommend using this site when you want to find out some info about the company's culture or how interviews are conducted. 


Craigslist.org
The one-stop shop for careers of all functions, Craigslist can be a useful tool in one's job search and many reputable organization are using them to post jobs. However, please exercise precaution as there are job scams that plague the site. To combat that, Craigslist has implemented a space for companies to identify themselves to job searchers. 


LinkedIn.com 
This career-oriented social networking site provides people with a community to not only look for jobs but network with past, present, and future employers. You can list your work history, follow companies that you're interested in, and connect to a wide range of professionals in your field. 


SimplyHired.com/Indeed.com
These job search engines help take the tediousness out of searching for jobs from big name companies and bring the information right to you. In addition to that, these sites also provide salary searches, job trends, and forums to discuss careers. 


Twitter.com 
Although Twitter is used for recreational purposes, many companies have Twitter accounts and tweet open positions. If you have a Twitter account, be sure to follow companies that grab your interest! 


These are just several of the many sites that are helpful to people searching for jobs. I'm pretty sure there are more websites out there so if you found them to be great in your job search comment! 

Relationships...Tweet-by-Tweet

If there's one thing everyone can be sure of is that in relationships, there will be an argument or disagreement of some sort; it's a normal part of the relationship. But what is not normal is how those same arguments and the reactions/emotions from them are displayed on a social media billboard for all followers and internet passersby to see. While browsing through my timeline on Twitter, I can't tell you the number of times I've seen someone's emotionally charged tweets and kept reading their timeline like it was a script for a soap opera. But while I'm reading these tweets I can't help but think about two things: 1) Why would anybody want to tweet about how their relationship is hitting a rough patch? and 2) Who actually has the time to tweet in the middle of fighting with their honey or crying about the events that just took place? 


I've been told that I'm not an emotional person, but I like to think of it as being choosy about with whom I share my emotions. Me and my honey have had our problems like every other couple, but one thing we've always been clear about is to deal with them together. Other than that, the fight won't be broadcasted on Twitter for our followers to either be concerned, indifferent, or in worse cases amused which brings me to this point: allowing people a front row seat to see your relationship's dirty laundry does more harm than good and it gives people ammunition to assassinate your relationship. It's pretty counterproductive. 


In addition to people's voyeurism, I think the reason why many tweet their relationship problems is because of their narcissism. Deep down inside they love the attention that they get from their dramatics; it's like an insecure girl putting herself down because she's really fishing for compliments from a guy. If these attention hungry people didn't get an audience I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have much to tweet about. 


Everyone's relationships go through changes, some more than others, but to give everyone a play-by-play of them, it's not a good choice to make. If you are serious about your relationship, then protect it, don't exploit it. Otherwise, you'll be tweeting your relationship death certificate. As for those of you whose timelines are subjected to floods of these kinds of tweets, mute them!

I'm Not Perfect...But I'm Perfect for You.

As a kid, I remember watching this Grace Jones video called "I'm Not Perfect." One thing I remember about that song was the catchy chorus that went, "I'm not perfect/ but I'm perfect for you." When I got older, I would sometimes hear people use that phrase when talking about love. Now that I am in a relationship and have been in it for a long while, I can fully understand the meaning behind that phrase. 

When searching for a significant other, many people talk about  finding the perfect person. Some people will go as far as making up lists or letting little things become relationship deal breakers, but here's the thing: PERFECT PEOPLE DO NOT EXIST. I repeat PERFECT PEOPLE DO NOT EXIST. Instead, your best bet is to find someone that's perfect for you...and yes, there's a difference. 


To find someone that's perfect for you simply means, in my opinion, finding key qualities in a mate that would complement yours while understanding and accepting his/her imperfections. In my own relationship, we both understand that while we have many similar qualities that helped us fall in love with each other, we're not perfect in any sense of the word. However, we respect those differences and don't drive each other crazy trying to change each other. That level of respect and understanding shows maturity and growth in the relationship and honestly, our differences are what make the relationship unique and interesting. Now if you happen to have differences that you absolutely can't deal with, then end the relationship. Nobody ever had a great relationship by settling. 


So when you're out there searching for that special someone, make sure they're perfect for you. If you're looking for a perfect person, you'll be looking for a long time. 

Time Goes By So Slowly...

Many recent college graduates such as myself definitely had a hard reality to face once the excitement of graduating wore off. We've spent hours applying to Associates programs, searching for countless full-time jobs and internships on the internet, and ultimately had nothing produce into gainful employment. As we were preparing for graduating and moving back to our hometowns, we were all warned of the job market's treacherous environment we would face, but deep down inside we all thought that some employer would take one look at our resume and shiny new degrees and hire us soon after graduation.For many of us, it didn't quite happen that way and there are still many who refuse to believe that the scenario described will not be something they will experience. 

One key factor in anyone's job search is patience. A lot of job hunters seem to think that the hiring process only takes a matter of days when in fact it takes weeks at the very least. There are several things to consider: 

1) Although the company is interviewing candidates, they may not have the actual approval for the position, so HR is just simply looking to develop a pipeline of qualified candidates for when the position is considered officially open. Please note that approval can take months or never happen. 

2) When managers are gaining approval for jobs, budgets must definitely be discussed. If there's no budget, then there's no job. Unfortunately in these harsh economic times, companies are always looking to find a way to trim their budgets and of course hiring people (especially depending on the career level) is a lot of money when talking about base salary, bonus, and benefits. So while the manager may want to hire a person, if the numbers come back funny, then there's no approval.  

3) You are not the only one applying and interviewing for this job. Depending on the company, they are looking for hires internally (current employees looking to advance) as well as externally (laid off experienced workforce and fellow recent grads). Rarely ever do managers interview just one candidate and hire him/her on the spot. When managers are choosing a candidates, they need to be able to compare qualifications, skills, and talents and they can't do that by interviewing one person. 

4) Bosses may decide that responsibilities that a potential candidate may have can be taken on and spread out amongst current employees. In this case, the current employees don't win because they have more work piled on and you, the job hunter, don't win because a potential job opportunity is over before it started. 

5) The manager may have had a bad experience with a past employee and are extremely cautious about hiring someone and end up taking a while to make a decision. 

However, there are some special cases where a company needs to fill a position immediately due to a massive back up of work that needs to be completed. The company will usually post this in the job description by saying they're interviewing  within a short time frame and looking to hire ASAP. If you come across a job like that that fits you well, then apply, attend the interview if you're invited, and good luck! 

For all other regular time-framed jobs, the best advice is to not be discouraged. Searching for a job in this market is definitely an emotionally taxing process and it's easy to feel like you're not getting anywhere especially if you've been searching for months and you haven't heard back from any company. However, if you've been going on lots of interviews, look at each one as an opportunity to improve your interviewing skills or make yourself more viable to employers.

It's important to be realistic in your job search because if you're not, you'll end up frustrated. It's understandable: you're brimming with fresh ideas and ready to take on the world with your many talents, but you feel like no one has noticed it. But also remember this: you're young and have more time on your side; eventually someone will realize what you have to offer. If you ever feel down about your situation, just think about those out there who have spent years looking for a job, can't provide for their families or themselves and then be thankful for what you have left and toughen up because tough times don't last, tough people do!

Just for Laughs

My message to lame guys trying to holla at girls. 

Why I Don't Make New Year's Resolutions

Now that the New Year is here, many people are asking the age old question "What's your New Year's Resolution?" Just yesterday, I was asked this question and I responded, "I didn't make any New Year's Resolutions." Following my response, I was told that I'm too young to not have any resolutions and that the New Year should prompt me to self-reflect. While I don't disagree with this theory, I have my own philosophy on making New Year's Resolutions. 

Every day there is something new to discover about life. As each day passes, you'll come to experience and witness things that may cause you to self-reflect and make a decision to resolve whatever is going on in your life. This may mean re-evaluating your life, friends, relationships, etc. Whenever that time comes up, I believe in simply making steps to resolve it and continue going on life's journey to growing as a person. A fresh start can be made whenever you decide to make it and fresh starts are made every day. 

Now I know that many people use New Year's, spring time, and other dates and occasions to make changes in their lives and that's fine. As long as you make the change, then it's all good. However, if I know there's something in my life I have to change, I rather change it then and there instead of marking down a calendar to do it. Call me a free spirit of sorts, but that's the way I choose to approach life. So to all those calendar markers out there, please respect my approach as I respect yours and let's just enjoy this ride called life.