Monday, May 24, 2010

All They See is Paper Not Potential



Finally after weeks without my laptop, I'm back on the blog to discuss the wonderful world of dating. My friend requested that I write about dating and money so that's today's topic. Money is always one of the major dealbreakers in realtionships whether it's spoken about or not. Let's all face it: dating someone requires money. If you want to be able to eat out, go to the movies, go on trips, etc. you better have your finances straight or your woman will be telling you to call Tyrone. Now don't confuse this with the gold digger mentality because it's not; it's called being realistic. Now my friend thinks there's a difference between dating a man with money and dating a man with no money. I don't know if that's the correct way to phrase that particular topic because when it comes down to it, every financial situation is specific to each person. But I will say this: there is an immense difference a man's paper and his potential.


I'm in my early 20s, a recent college grad with loans to pay back, and trying to beat out virtually millions of other people for a job in today's market. I'm basically broke and I expect many other people to be in the same situation. I live a pretty comfortable lifestyle and while I aspire to have the finer things in life, it's not the ultimate life goal for me. Therefore, I don't expect my man to be making six figures at this stage in his life. If he does (legally of course), then that's cool, too. In terms of a relationship, many women look at a man's pockets because they're looking for what a man can give them material wise at that given time. I know many girls that wouldn't give nice guys that work, go to school, and are working hard to make something of themselves the time of day simply because they feel as if these guys can't immediately buy them things like clothes and jewelry. That's when girls go for the dudes that have money, but very little else to bring to the table. He may be lacking in the emotion department and not love you the way you deserve to be loved, he may control your activities by throwing it in your face that you depend on him for money, and the list can go on. So while money is nice, that's not keeping you warm at night!


As for the man with potential, the perfect example of this is President Obama. Before he became what he is today, when he was dating Michelle he didn't have a hefty bank account, nice car, and comfy job. In fact, Michelle was the one who had the leg up on him finance wise. She had a high paying job and was on the fast track to a successful, influential career. Instead of her turning up her nose at him, she went out him for his personality and the potential he had to be something in life. Fast forward years later and she's now the First Lady continuously supporting her man. What makes it even better is that she never lost that drive to support and better herself. So ladies, I would suggest you take the time to see a man's potential. Right now, dude might be going to school, saving up his money to get a car, working 2 jobs, whatever. If he's doing that and doing the best he can in the relationship to give you what you deserve emotionally, financially, and physically, then keep him. Stop looking for love through a man's wallet and look for it through his character and potential.

3 comments:

Kim said...

I was more coming from the perspective that I would with date a man with money as well a a man that has no money. Both are acceptable as long as you know how to handle it. If you're a guy with "coins" and I'm dating you I don't expect every conversation to be about money and I won't always want the most expensive things or to go to the most expensive places.

On the other hand if you're a man with not a lot of money that's fine too as long as you don't let your lack of money limit you. I don't want to hear "Baby I don't have money so we can't do this or I can't do that". There are plenty of things to do with a little or no money at all. You just have to think outside of the box and not inside the bank account.

Beyond Description. said...

You're absolutely right Kim. Guys need to think outside the box if they have limited funds, but from what I've seen and experienced myself, men oftentimes don't do this because they feel inadequate. From what a guy told me, it's a man thing that no words can reconcile, but as a young woman, I know I appreciate the effort (and the potential). Thanks for providing the idea!

Kim said...

"From what a guy told me, it's a man thing that no words can reconcile"

-I really believe that's true, but still. Give me something to work with. Like you said I appreciate the effort too.

 
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