Yo! Let Me Talk to You!

Psst. Ay Ma! Ay ma with the jacket on! Let me talk to you! Yo sexy, yo gorgeous! You know you hear me talking to you!

Those are just a few of the many ridiculous things that are shouted out at women on a daily basis. Matter of fact, seeing these cat calls in writing make them look even more ridiculous. I never could understand why some (not all) men feel the need to get a woman's attention like that. Despite all of this, according to male friend of mine, even the most polite way to start a conversation with a females gets the same brush off as the offensive. I think it's safe to say we've successfully confused men...once again.

Ladies, why is that when a man says, "excuse me, can I speak to you for a minute..." or something equally as polite we get all offended as if the guy said, "ay b***h let me holla at you real quick!"? As a friend of mine once told me, "I'm polite to y'all and I still get the n***a please look." With that being said, I found some videos and ladies think about which way you would like to be approached. But I will say you probably don't want to be approached like this:

....or like this (shouts to Kim on this one! lol)

The Princess Syndrome

Usually when girls have fathers or father figures in their lives, they're often given the title of "princess." That wasn't the case for me growing up. Although I did have my father in my life and still do, never once did he call me "princess" or treat me that way in some respects. While I knew I was his little girl, I understood why he didn't treat me as such. He said that he didn't want me to turn out out being a demanding woman who couldn't do for herself later in life. However, I did grow up around and even lived with females that were like this and that was a personal hell for me. I vowed to do all I could not to become that. These girls I'm talking about have the Princess Syndrome, a disease where girls who take the title of princess and pump it up on steroids. Now that I am older, I see how girls with this sickness are one of the most easily annoying creatures walking the earth. If you don't know if you or a loved one has this syndrome, please read the following symptoms as this is spreading at an alarming rate.

1. DIY (do it yourself) is not in their vocabulary

These girls would rather enlist the help of others than do it themselves. This can range from homework, cleaning, work, etc. They are physically and mentally capable to do these things, but they feel as if it's either too complicated or too beneath them to do it. Heaven forbid they break a nail or something! (*rolls eyes)

2. *Sings* I know you like to think your .... don't stank

Besides "Roses" by OutKast being one of my favorite songs from them, Princess Syndrome girls are famous for thinking that their ish don't stink and that they're better than everyone else.

3. Have dollars but no sense

A determining factor in the development of the princess syndrome is material possessions. Princess Syndrome girls usually get money from a male figure, usually a father, but keep in mind that this can be a boyfriend or just some dude that's trickin' off the afflicted girl. Despite them having loads of material possessions and cash, Princess Syndrome girls don't know the value of a dollar and don't save because they rather use the money to have latest stuff. All they know to do is have their hand out for money.

4. It's their way or no way

Another major symptom to this horrible disease is the excessive demands these Princess Syndrome girls make. These demands only accommodate them; as for everyone else, it's a complete headache to try and make these girls happy. Take a look at this video and you'll get exactly what I mean.

As a female, it's been ingrained in us at an early age to think of ourselves as princesses and to be treated as such. Unfortunately, I think the term has been blown out of proportion and that's what causes girls to have this sense of entitlement about them. While it's true that girls should be treated like princesses, it doesn't give them the right to treat everyone else like their royal subjects. My philosophy is know that you're royal but work and have the humility of a pauper. So for all the self-proclaimed princesses out there, y'all can have that...I'm too busy working for my queendom.

Recipes for Your One and Only

They say a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach…they were absolutely right. I’m compiling a list of delicious (and easy) dinner recipes that will be sure to keep him wanting more! If you have any more suggestions, please post them in the comment section!

Entrees

Lasagna (serves 8)

Ingredients

1 pound lean ground beef

1 onion, chopped

1 (4.5 ounce) can mushrooms, drained (* this ingredient is optional)

1 (28 ounce) jar spaghetti sauce

1 (16 ounce) package cottage cheese

1 pint part-skim ricotta cheese

¼ cup grated Parmesan cheese

2 eggs

1 (16 ounce) package lasagna noodles

8 ounces shredded mozzarella cheese

Directions

1. In a large skillet, cook and stir ground beef until brown. Add mushrooms and onions; sauté until onions are transparent. Stir in pasta sauce, and heat through.

2. In a medium size bowl, combine cottage cheese, ricotta cheese, grated Parmesan cheese, and eggs.

3. Spread a thin layer of the meat sauce in the bottom of a 13x9 inch pan. Layer with uncooked lasagna noodles, cheese mixture, mozzarella cheese, and meat sauce. Continue layering until all ingredients are used, reserving 1/2 cup mozzarella. Cover pan with aluminum foil.

4. Bake in a preheated 350 degree F (175 degree C) oven for 45 minutes. Uncover, and top with remaining half cup of mozzarella cheese. Bake for an additional 15 minutes. Remove from oven, and let stand 10 to 15 minutes before serving.

** courtesy of allrecipes.com

Note: A good side dish for lasagna is garlic bread and/or salad.

Salmon with Butter Sauce

Ingredients

2 salmon fillets, skin intact
2 lemons, thinly sliced
1/2 c. olive oil
2 lg. garlic cloves, minced

2 tb. butter

2 tb. diced onion

2 tb. parsley

2 oz. White wine (cooking wine)

Directions for the fish

1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

2. Rinse the salmon fillets and pat dry.

3. Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil and arrange 3 quarters of the onions and lemons on top.

4. Arrange fillets, skin side down on top.

5. Mix the olive oil and garlic; brush liberally over the fish.

6. Fold over the edges of the foil to seal in the fish and bake in the preheated oven for 35-40 minutes, or until the fish flakes when touched with a fork.

Directions for the butter sauce

In 10" saute pan, melt butter

Into saute pan add diced onion, lemon juice, chopped parsley, salt and pepper and white wine.

Reduce liquid a little, then swirl pan and add 2 tablespoons butter (to form a light sauce).

Place salmon on plate, put sauce over the top of salmon.

Note: A good side dish is whatever vegetable you choose.

Sirloin Steak with Garlic Butter

Ingredients

1/2 cup butter

2 teaspoons garlic powder

4 cloves garlic, minced

4 pounds beef top sirloin steaks

salt and pepper to taste

Directions

1. Preheat an outdoor grill for high heat.

2. In a small saucepan, melt butter over medium-low heat with garlic powder and minced garlic. Set aside.

3. Sprinkle both sides of each steak with salt and pepper.

4. Grill steaks 4 to 5 minutes per side, or to desired doneness. When done, transfer to warmed plates.

5. Brush tops liberally with garlic butter, and allow to rest for 2 to 3 minutes before serving.

**courtesy of allrecipes.com

Note: A good side dish is baked potato (butter, sour cream, or bacon bits can be using for a topping)

Chicken Alfredo

(serves 8)

Ingredients

1 pound fettuccini pasta

1 ½ cups butter, divided

1 pound skinless, boneless chicken breast halves - cut into cubes

2 (16 ounce) containers whole milk ricotta cheese

1 pint heavy cream (* found in the dairy section of your grocery)

1 teaspoon salt

1 cup grated Parmesan cheese

Directions

Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add fettuccini and cook for 8 to 10 minutes or until al dente; drain.

Melt 2 tablespoons butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Saute chicken until no longer pink and juices run clear.

In a large saucepan combine ricotta cheese, cream, salt, Parmesan cheese and remaining butter. Cook over medium heat until well combined, about 10 minutes. Stir in cooked fettuccini and chicken; cook until heated through.

**courtesy of allrecipes.com

Side Dishes

Baked Macaroni & Cheese

Ingredients

1 (12 ounce) package macaroni

1 egg

2 cups milk

2 tablespoons butter, melted

2 ½ cups shredded Cheddar cheese

salt and pepper to taste

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease a 2-quart baking dish.

2. In a large pot of salted water, lightly boil the macaroni for about 5 minutes until half-cooked.

3. Whisk the egg and milk together in a large cup. Add butter and cheese to the egg and milk. Stir well.

4. Place the lightly cooked macaroni in the prepared baking dish. Pour the egg and cheese liquid over the macaroni, sprinkle with salt and pepper, and stir well. Press the mixture evenly around the baking dish.

5. Bake uncovered, for 30 to 40 minutes, or until the top is brown.

Cornbread (From Scratch)

Ingredients
1 1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1 1/3 cup yellow or white corn meal
2 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/3 cup buttermilk
1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted
2 large eggs, beaten

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Butter or oil a 9" baking pan, set aside.

2. Sift flour, corn meal, baking soda, baking powder and salt together.

3. Whisk together the buttermilk, melted butter and the eggs. Add the dry ingredients to the liquid and stir just to blend.

4. Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake until golden brown around the edges, about 30 minutes or until tester (use a toothpick) inserted into the middle of the bread comes out clean.

5. Cool in the pan on a rack for a few minutes then cut into squares.

**courtesy of CDKitchen.com

Rice & Blacked Eyed Peas

Ingredients

1 quart water

½ cup soy sauce

1 teaspoon season salt

½ teaspoon garlic powder

½ teaspoon curry powder

8 ounces black-eyed peas, cooked

About 1 ½ to 2 cups raw rice

Directions

1. Combine water, say sauce, salt garlic powder, curry powder and cooked peas.

2. Add rice by pouring it into the center of the pot until it reaches the top of the water line-NO MORE.

3. Stir well and cover. Continue cooking on a medium to low flame until rice is fluffy and cooked through.

**courtesy of foodnetwork.com

Dessert

Sweet Potato Cupcakes

Ingredients:

1 cup butter

2 cups sugar

2 cups mashed sweet potato (from can or roast your own and then puree or mash)

2 tsp vanilla extract

4 eggs

3 cups flour (sifted)

2 tsp baking powder

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp nutmeg

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 line cupcake trays with paper or lightly grease

2. In mixer add butter and sugar and cream on low for about 10 minute. To that add each egg, one at a time.

3. Add vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg, baking powder. Alternate one scoop sweet potato and one scoop of flour to the mixer until it's all been blended in.

4. Using ice cream scooper, scoop batter into cupcake pan filling about 3/4 the way up. Bake 20-30 minutes, test with a toothpick (insert into cupcake and if toothpick comes out clean, cupcakes are ready).

5. Cool and frost or slice open and serve with caramel sauce and ice cream.

Banana Pudding

Ingredients

1 box of Nilla Wafer cookies

6 to 8 bananas, sliced

2 cups milk

1 (5-ounce) box instant French vanilla pudding

1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened

1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk

1 (12-ounce) container frozen whipped topping thawed, or equal amount sweetened whipped cream

Directions

1. Line the bottom of a 13 by 9 by 2-inch dish with 1 bag of cookies and layer bananas on top.

2. In a bowl, combine the milk and pudding mix and blend well using a handheld electric mixer.

3. Using another bowl, combine the cream cheese and condensed milk together and mix until smooth.

4. Fold the whipped topping into the cream cheese mixture.

5. Add the cream cheese mixture to the pudding mixture and stir until well blended.

6. Pour the mixture over the cookies and bananas and cover with the remaining cookies.

7. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

Shh...Keep Your Lips Sealed

When I started dating in high school, my mother told me one of her cardinal rules: don’t talk too much to your girlfriends about your relationship. As I got older, I saw exactly what she was talking about. I saw girls go from calling each other BFFs to calling each other bitches because the green eyed monster, envy, reared its ugly head. Check out this story.

Anita** and Julia** were the best of friends, they went everywhere and did everything together. Julia had a boyfriend, Dave** and thought it would be a nice idea to set Anita up with one of Dave’s friends, John**. Anita and John had an okay first date; they really didn’t feel the chemistry that is expected on a first date, but they continued to hang out anyway. As time went on, they began to really like each other and it soon progressed into a relationship. Now you think Julia would be happy; I mean after all, she hooked her friend up and things seemed to be going well. However, that wasn’t the case. As Anita and John’s relationship started growing, Anita and Julia’s friendship started deteriorating. Julia became so jealous that she started to divulge private information to Dave so that it would get back to John and ruin his perception of Anita. The good news was that John was smart enough to know that jealousy was the source of all this occurring and he continued dating Anita. The bad news is that the friendships between Dave and John and Anita and Julia are now done.

It’s sometimes hard to think that a long-term friendship would be over because one friend couldn’t be happy for the other one, but the reality of it is this happens every day. As with any crew of girls, I’ve sat in these self-proclaimed roundtable meetings and heard my friends gush over what their boyfriends did for them, bought for them, etc. I know how it is ladies. We get so excited about our relationships and feel like we want to tell everyone that we know, but we must exercise restraint and have some humility (and mystery) about our relationships. And even if you’re a girl who’s choosy about what you tell your friends, you should keep your eyes and ears open for any signs that might point to jealousy; it’s better to protect yourself beforehand. Just ask yourself: do my friends really need to know every single detail about what me and my man do? Obviously, the answer is no. So the same way your mama told you to close your legs and don’t give away your goodies, I suggest you close your mouth and don’t away too much info. You’ll be happy you did in the end.

**the names have been changed

Let's Do Something Different

So you've been in a relationship with your man for a while and suddenly the whole "dinner, movie, and the weekly extracurricular activity back at the house" thing ain't cutting it for you. You want to be able to explore different things and places with the man you love. As a woman who loves variety, I'm constantly coming up with activities for us to enjoy so I thought I'd share with you.

1. Take a stroll around NYC

It's free, culture filled, and depending on the time of day, you'll find somebody being odd yet entertaining. Plus, you'll get a workout walking around.

2. Go to a poetry reading

There's nothing like spoken word. Usually these events are held in intimate settings and that can be a nice start to the evening.

3. Go out dancing

If you and your man have some skills on the dance floor, showcase them. Salsa, merengue, reggae, hip-hop, etc. there are plenty of clubs that you can go to. Cuba Libre is my personal favorite!

4. Have a picnic

It's summertime so what's more appropriate than having a picnic? Go to the corner store, get you and your man some sandwiches, drinks and snacks, grab a blanket and voila! A cheap way to eat with seating and a view of your choice!

5. Free concert series

One of the best things about summer in the city are the free concert series at parks across the 5 boroughs. You can check for these events by looking the New York Daily News or The Village Voice.

6. Wine Tastings (for the 21+ crowd)

If you enjoy wine, this is a nice way to become a connoisseur of sorts. They usually have these wine tastings in the suburbs (i.e. Westchester County, Long Island, etc.) so it could be a nice trip. Just remember don't drink too much especially if you're driving.

7. MAKE dinner TOGETHER

I hear a lot of guys complain about how women nowadays don't know how to cook. Well here's a way for a girl to learn (if she doesn't know how to) and a way to make something appetizing together...and heat things up in the kitchen!

8. Revisit your childhood

My boyfriend and I just did this the other day at Riverside Park and had a good time. Go on the swings, play in the sprinklers, etc. It definitely takes you back to a simpler time when you had all the fun and none of the responsibilities.

9. Visit a bed-and-breakfast

This is a variation of a hotel. It's a lot more cozy and homely. There are usually a handful of rooms in a bed-and-breakfast and each room is decorated in a special way. You can find a bed-and-breakfast in the suburbs or in the city. A nice spot I've been wanting to try is the Akwaaba Mansion Bed & Breakfast in Brooklyn (check it out at http://www.akwaaba.com/brooklyn/).

10. Go on a nightly cruise

If you both like being on the water, go on the Spirit Cruises line. These night cruises are usually 3-4 hours long and they serve dinner. Some of the cruises are themed like the HOT 97 Mister Cee Moonlight Cruise hosted by Angie Martinez (must be 23 and over) and the Hot Latin R&B Moonlight Cruise (must be 21 and over). For more info, go to http://www.spiritcruises.com/New-York/home.

Slim Thug's Philosophy on Black vs. White Women

So some people have been buzzing about this Vibe magazine article with Slim Thug and with good reason. In the article, Slim Thug talks about his reasons for being in an interracial relationship and while I'm cool with interracial relationships, I think his reasons have people in an uproar. Here's some excerpts from the article:

"It's hard to trust a Black woman because a lot of Black women's mind frame is that the man gotta do everything for her - he gotta pay for this, he gotta pay for that, and if it ain’t about money then a lot of them ain't ****ng with him. If that’s what you’re here for then I don’t want to be with you."

"...[but] my White woman is fine. She don’t give me no problems, she do whatever I say and y’all gotta do all that arguing and fighting and worry about all this other ****."

"White women treat they man like a king and Black women feel like they ain’t gotta do that *****. Black women need to stand by their man more. Don’t always put the pressure of if I'm ******ing with you, you gotta buy me this and that."

From what he's saying, it seems as if he's not with this girl because he genuinely loves her, but because she does what he says. I've heard and seen many Black men make this a sole reason for dating White women which I think is the most ignorant reason to date anybody of any race. I know a lot of White women who aren't stereotypically docile towards men, Black, White, Latino, etc. and find that thinking offensive. So Slim Thug, you're not that damn hot to every White woman and not all of them are lined up to cook you food and wash your dirty drawers.

As a young Black woman, I am disappointed that yet another Black man chooses to reject the Black woman because of this stereotype. I'm not denying that there are Black women out there that are just looking for what they can get out of a man, but guess what? This isn't limited to just Black women either. Gold digging knows no color, guys remember that. Furthermore, I don't appreciate how yet again all Black women are all grouped as the stereotypical neck rolling, gold digging, finger waving, argumentative females. Yes, there are Black women like that, but if that's all you've been dating, then my man, that sounds like a personal problem. There are plenty of Black women that don't act that way and they can support their man without being a servant to them. I support my Black men (i.e. my father, uncles, my boyfriend, etc.) , but I don't support one that doesn't want to understand or support a Black woman's strength and intelligence while giving her the love that she needs. Now if you happen to fall in love with someone outside of your race, then that's all good too because love knows no color, but if you are actively seeking another woman of another race just because they're easy or they don't argue with you as much, then you never deserved a good Black woman anyway.

All They See is Paper Not Potential

Finally after weeks without my laptop, I'm back on the blog to discuss the wonderful world of dating. My friend requested that I write about dating and money so that's today's topic. Money is always one of the major dealbreakers in realtionships whether it's spoken about or not. Let's all face it: dating someone requires money. If you want to be able to eat out, go to the movies, go on trips, etc. you better have your finances straight or your woman will be telling you to call Tyrone. Now don't confuse this with the gold digger mentality because it's not; it's called being realistic. Now my friend thinks there's a difference between dating a man with money and dating a man with no money. I don't know if that's the correct way to phrase that particular topic because when it comes down to it, every financial situation is specific to each person. But I will say this: there is an immense difference a man's paper and his potential.

I'm in my early 20s, a recent college grad with loans to pay back, and trying to beat out virtually millions of other people for a job in today's market. I'm basically broke and I expect many other people to be in the same situation. I live a pretty comfortable lifestyle and while I aspire to have the finer things in life, it's not the ultimate life goal for me. Therefore, I don't expect my man to be making six figures at this stage in his life. If he does (legally of course), then that's cool, too. In terms of a relationship, many women look at a man's pockets because they're looking for what a man can give them material wise at that given time. I know many girls that wouldn't give nice guys that work, go to school, and are working hard to make something of themselves the time of day simply because they feel as if these guys can't immediately buy them things like clothes and jewelry. That's when girls go for the dudes that have money, but very little else to bring to the table. He may be lacking in the emotion department and not love you the way you deserve to be loved, he may control your activities by throwing it in your face that you depend on him for money, and the list can go on. So while money is nice, that's not keeping you warm at night!

As for the man with potential, the perfect example of this is President Obama. Before he became what he is today, when he was dating Michelle he didn't have a hefty bank account, nice car, and comfy job. In fact, Michelle was the one who had the leg up on him finance wise. She had a high paying job and was on the fast track to a successful, influential career. Instead of her turning up her nose at him, she went out him for his personality and the potential he had to be something in life. Fast forward years later and she's now the First Lady continuously supporting her man. What makes it even better is that she never lost that drive to support and better herself. So ladies, I would suggest you take the time to see a man's potential. Right now, dude might be going to school, saving up his money to get a car, working 2 jobs, whatever. If he's doing that and doing the best he can in the relationship to give you what you deserve emotionally, financially, and physically, then keep him. Stop looking for love through a man's wallet and look for it through his character and potential.